Random Late Night Thoughts
*Go to bed! hehe
*Feeling strangely "normal", for the first time in a year. I'm too afraid to trust it.
*And all of a sudden, I'm back to thinking about other things besides ill health, REALLY? Pinch me?
*But now my little one is having health problems, please Jesus, let us have good health?!
*Journaling - A catch all approach. I have a bad and embarrassing journaling problem! I must have around 20 laying around with all sorts of different things in each one. At first I thought that I needed a separate journal for each type of thing that I wanted to journal about: Bible journaling, prayers, personal, food journal and symptoms log, one for lists like grocery shopping and meal planning and whatever else. At any rate, my journaling has turned into one big huge embarrassing mess.
*Downgrading - de-cluttering, getting rid of possessions that are not useful, peaceful, or pretty to look at.
*Work on creating a healthy and happy atmosphere in our home. It's hard sometimes. We rent, and it doesn't feel like home. We will buy someday, we hope, but until then it seems, why bother?
*Routines, schedules... we need this so desperately. I need this so desperately. What is the matter with me? Why can't I accomplish this? I've been trying my entire adult life. It's frustrating and disappointing how little discipline I have.
I have been ill for two years, but seriously ill where life pretty much stood still for one year. I was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto's about a month ago. Thank God for a diagnosis, finally! It was truly a dark year. I'm now getting treatment which really requires a LOT of personal changes. So this will be a main focus right now because I need to have good health in order to have the energy and clear mindedness to give to and serve my family.
I am going to go to sleep now and pray that tomorrow I get to keep this "real me" in better health, and that my poor little lady heals from whatever is ailing her.
Trying to see His beautiful grace in it all.
